As the new year rolls around all regular gym goers are dreading the masses that will flock to the gym with hopes of losing/gaining 30lbs with a touch of a dumbbell. To make this January go a little more smoothly, I have put together a quick list for the new or existing gym goers to make this summer go a little smoother. This is also a list the current gyms should already implement, yet they are still too worried about whether you are wearing a hoodie or not.
Deadlifts must be done
Bread crusts don’t put hair on your back, deadlifts do. This is the manliest, most productive thing you could ever do. Also nobody wants a pancakes arse, nothing says you’re an athlete like a good behind, get to work!
If your bench is more than your squat
Please, this is really sad. If we catch you with this disease you will be banned from the benching area until the squat has another plate on it. Step away from the bench…
If there is a towel on a machine
Ok this is a biggy, please listen carefully. I know planet fitness says you should share the machines like your kid’s sandpit toys, but if you are trying to create any type of intensity in your workout, there will be a time where supersets make a presence, and this doesn’t work so well when you decided to move my towel so you can sit down to send a text.
If I have ear phones in
This means don’t f%#king talk to me, sure the music in here is bad, but the main reason I brought headphones to the gym today was so that I didn’t have to hear about how Tom shagged Sheryl.
Grunt only if you are actually putting effort in
If you grunt from the very first rep that you do bicep curls, you’re a knob. Grunting is not to be taken lightly, it is reserved for the athlete that is actually putting in the work to deserve using this sacred sound.
Gym mirrors are not for pimples
If your new arrival of proactive didn’t work for you, please don’t get this all over the gym mirrors, these are reserved purely for lifters
Preacher curls are not a strength lift
Doesn’t matter how strong you are, putting your bodyweight on the other side of a preacher curl a moving everything except for your biceps to get it up is neither impressive nor effective.
Choose a trainer that is actually in shape themselves
If you are one of the few smart ones that is new and seeks out advice from a gym trainer to jump start your progress, you still have to be intelligent in your choice of trainer. If he hasn’t lifted for 6months because he is more worried about getting the right color Nikes then he probably won’t be worth what he is charging.
Leave a comment below if you think I missed anything or have any questions,
All the best for the new year!


1 thought on “”

Leave a Comment